Bee's My Valentine

To be honest, Valentine's Day used to be a sad day for me, as it is for many people I imagine. I had a few relationships, but never a true love.  I was nearing 40 years old and thought I might never find my true love. My soul mate. It's funny how things happen that seem like they were meant to be.

I was listening to a radio talk show, feeling really down, just out of one relationship that wasn't working. It was Valentines Day 2004. He was talking about Valentines Day and people were calling in saying how much they loved their wife, husband and so on, and I felt even sadder. Was I ever going to find my soul mate? My Valentine? And it's funny today on Facebook I read someone who called it "singles awareness day". Because it truly is that for many people.

Then he talked about his life. He said he was also in few failed relationships over years, but single most of his life like me. And also how Valentine's Day used to make him sad. Then he said he was almost 40 and thought like me, that he might never find his soul mate.. But he did. And I was about to.

It was on a message board on AOL that I first met Becky. She lived in Toronto, me in Martinez. About 2300 miles apart. It was 2004 and we messaged back and forth a few times until I got up the nerve to ask her if I could call her. She said OK and sent me her number. We ended up talking for hours that night. Suddenly I realized my phone bill was going to be huge! So I got the Canadian plan in the morning, and lucky they let that call go on it. I wasn't even sure if we would ever talk again. Good thing I did get it, because we talked every day after that, until finally we decided to meet, and I drove to Toronto from here, a three day drive, in late 2004. Then a train trip, and finally I got smart and just flew. 

To make a very long story somewhat shorter, we married in 2007 and just celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary.

We have been tested in so many ways, our love, our resolve, our commitment, that anything short of true love would have surely failed by now. But it did not, it got stronger.

We have both changed in so many ways since meeting. Just one example is I now say "Pop" instead of "Coke", and she now says "Z" instead of "Zed".  I was single so long that I had no clue how to be married, or even if I could be. Now I know I could not possibly live without her. We both say we are so connected that we are each others heart. Without each other, we could not survive.

We are both strong willed I would say, and battled out some things. We both have flaws and also qualities, and now it seems where hers leave off, mine begin. Where she is weak, I am strong and vise versa. She has taught me so much. I am a much different person now. And so is she.

We are best friends. I heard couples say that before, but I never really believed it. I also never really believed in two people being soul mates. Now I do.

Nothing is ever perfect and every fairy tale has its share of sadness. There are things to still overcome. Things to make right. Lessons to learn. Battles to fight and also hurdles to cross, but we will do it together, much stronger than we could ever do individually. There are also so many great things to come. Things to look forward too, together.

I love Becky with all my heart. The past 6 months or so has been the best time of our marriage by far. When we had our 5 year anniversary, it was more like our honeymoon. I look at her and my heart skips a beat. I still get butterflies and always will when I think about her. She says she loves me the same way. And as usual, when things are so good, I get a little worried. Worried I could lose it, or something might happen. And we never know what fate has in store for us. But I am not afraid.

When I think about everything, which would take far too long to explain, I have to come to the conclusion that we were destined to meet, fall in love and marry. And we are indeed soul mates, way more than two people who met and fell in love on earth. We are forever.

Becky is not just the love of my life, she is the love of my soul. My valentine.